"n00b, I'm a unicorn!"

After free/cheap WiFi became readily available throughout the animal kingdom, seals embraced the technology with a fervor, abandoning their ocean-dwelling heritage for internet infamy.


River Horsies

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia is not the fear of monster hippos but rather the fear of long words.

Do not misunderstand: Hippos are still monsters and should be feared.


L'amour de canard

Our love with echo through the ages even if our quacks do not.

*the myth about duck quacks not echoing has been disproved by science. Google it.

** endless duck love has never been quantified or qualified - just accept it.



The Tijuana Zebra

Equiferus Arcus Pluvius

A Tijuana Zebra was enjoying a warm Tijuana afternoon, resting his painted rump on a wooden fence, swishing away the Tijuana flies. 

"I may just be a donkey painted to look like an African horse for the touristas," said the donkey. "But life is pretty good." 

The flies agreed as they buzzed around his rump.

Somewhere, in the distance, a piñata met an untimely end to the delight of some Tijuana children.

Such is life. In Tijuana. 


Divine Right

"The reign of kings is from Me, says Eternal Wisdom; and from this we may conclude that not only the rights of royalty are established by His laws, but also the choice of individual to occupy the throne is a result of His providence.

And He chose Mr. Swiggles."

- Jacques-Bénigne Bossuet (September 27, 1627 – April 12, 1704), Theologian, Bishop, and Cat Enthusiast.